Sharp and Pointy

The feeling was simply indescribable. In training, they didn’t tell him what it was like, what he would be missing, simply because they didn’t know. However, if he were to try and explain it to his fellow Brothers, he would be at a loss for words. It was like he was suffocating, but not, and he enjoyed it. Her lips felt softer than anything against his own, and it sent heat that was almost unbearable against a part of his body that was apparently amazingly sensitive. It was...unbelievable. There was nothing in his life that he could possibly compare this to, except her. Everything about he drew out new experiences that felt so natural, but ones that made him brain and body feel as if they were in a war over his actions. He wanted this feeling, the feeling of her upon his lips, to never end, and yet, his brain, calmer than before, was very much aware that it had to. This was as far as he could go, and once he crossed the bridge of anything that came after this simple moment, he knew he would not be able to control himself, not with her.

Finn had to stop this before he was to the point where he would no longer be able to. Want was very strong in him, want for her, but his vows were fresh still in his mind. As sweet as she tasted, the moment had to end. His eyes had fallen closed a heartbeat previous, but at the decision to end the moment of bliss, they opened slightly as he began to lean away from her. But then her hand was on his shoulder. Even the lightness of her touch sent the most interesting of signals from his body to his brain. He couldn’t pull away, not now. The touch signified so many things to him, and yet at the same time he knew it could simply be a physical reaction and nothing more. Even so, he wanted her to want him, to need him, to crave his touch and the closeness of him, fully knowing that she could never have him like she could have another. Did she know, was she aware that she could never have him more than this? That he could never have her?

Her hand gripped his collar and he could do nothing put tilt his head towards her as much as humanly possible. The sudden need to be nearer to her was strong and pulling within him, demanding action. The feeling was not new, but it was different that he had felt previously with her. The need was the same, but the actions that followed were much slower, much softer. With some hesitation, he released her hand and reached out to her with it, letting it wrap around her waist as much as he could from his current position against the wall. Smiling against her mouth, he pulled at her gently until she was seated across his lap. There was nothing sexual about the action, but he simply needed to get nearer to her, and feel her more than he was. Any touch was never enough, he always needed more of her.

With a smile still pulling at his lips, his mouth moved against hers at it’s own accord. Perhaps it was his own nature, perhaps it was his need to be closer and feel more of her, or perhaps it was something else entirely, but it felt right. Heat began to spread though his body, the source clearly the woman he had on top of him and at his lips. He knew that feeling now, and knew he needed to stop. His over attentive brain was giving him enough release to go this far, but it was clear that it was time to stop, it was time to control himself. Leaning towards her to that his forehead was pressed against hers, he used the angle to force his lips to leave hers.

“Noemi...” the name felt heavy on his tongue, “I-I can’t.” Taking his eye from her, he let them focus intently on the grass beside them. “We shouldn’t.” It was wrong. If she was just Noemi, perhaps it would be different. If she wasn’t a Princess, perhaps it would be different. If she wasn’t his ward, perhaps it would be different. But it wasn’t different. His eyes rose to meet her face. “I just...I’m supposed to guard you, to protect you.” How was he supposed to protect her when he couldn’t stop thinking about how much he wanted to touch her? A blush rose to his cheeks. He wish he could say that, could explain himself. He wished he could make her understand how much he wished he could, they could, but how much he knew he couldn’t, for Creator knew how much he wanted her. “I want...” I want to touch you, to hold you, I want to call you mine. “But we shouldn’t.”

Noemi sprawled herself across his lap to sit comfortably, as if it were the most natural place in the world for her to be. Her insides felt askew, like all her organs had grown wings and were fluttering inside the cage of her body. It seemed not so long ago since they had been in this position, but then there had been blood and fear and now...now, she was filled with exhilaration and anticipation that had nothing to do with violence. She wrapped herself around him, arms around his neck, legs curled tightly around his. Their bodies fit well together.

She liked this kissing thing very much. It was like a dance of sorts, only here, she was an amateur and all she could do was follow his lead and try her very hardest not to stumble. Unlike dancing, however, she did not feel the slightest bit embarrassed at not knowing the steps. It was too new and too exciting, her enthusiasm far overshadowing her lack of experience. Funny how at the beginning of this entire thing, she had told herself they would not be entering into a necking session at any point. But how could she have known?

When he pulled away, she whimpered at the loss, trying to chase his lips with hers. His forehead against hers was not a good substitute, but she took it anyway, hands cupping either side of his face. Oh, but it was good to touch him, to be here with him. It was enough to leave her breathless. Together with the release he had given her, this was the headiest feeling she had ever known. Finnagan desired her, he wanted her, and she felt the same for him, had felt it since their first meeting and that electric touch of skin on skin. She had never felt this way for anyone and to think that these feelings were reciprocated.... Her thoughts were far, far away from reality and the world of "no" and "can't." Until he spoke.

“I-I can’t. We shouldn’t. I just...I’m supposed to guard you, to protect you. I want... But we shouldn’t.”

At first, Noemi didn't understand. He was speaking in all negatives when this was so positive, this was so good. But every word he uttered added a weight on her insides until they had sunk and their wings had been ripped away. She took her hands from his face and shook her head. No, no, no. You want, I want, this is what we want, and we should and we can. Just as he had bestowed womanhood upon her, he was taking it away. Noemi did not like being told what to do and she did not like the word "shouldn't," but he was throwing it with such force.

She didn't even fully comprehend what they were doing, what this was, but he was telling her that they would not be doing it any longer. Anger and hurt were welling within her. It was petty, she knew. He was perfectly right, and that made it worse. They were not just a man and just a woman and he had to remind her.

Abruptly, she extracted herself from him and stood, all too conscious of the wetness between her legs. Where before it had been pleasant, it was now awkward and uncomfortable. At least she had found her balance. Her eyes did not meet his.

"Yes. Quite right, Brother Collins." Her voice was softer than she intended with a tremble hanging off the edge of her words, but she bit them off so tightly that the hurt was evident. An accident. She had meant to sound composed, even though she was forcing her words through a knot in her throat. "We weren't doing anything anyway, were we?"

She took a few steps backward, still focused on the ground.

"Thank you for my lesson."

A few more backward steps, then she turned on her heel and stalked off toward the nearest secret passage that would take her out and away from the situation. As long as no one saw her and the hot, angry tears spilling down her cheeks.